Challenge..considered?

1. Don’t Make a Big Deal out of ANYTHING!

Just won the lottery? Favourite episode of “Sex and the City” on? Spontaneously combusted? That’s no excuse!

No matter what the circumstance, always keep your emotions highly guarded. After all, you can’t be ‘cool’ if you have emotions – right?

This might take a bit of practice, because unless you’re clinically dead/a lawyer, you’re bound to have these oh-so-restrictive human emotions. Just make sure to never get too outwardly angry, keep it cool (think Clint Eastwood + Liquid Nitrogen). Mind games also work best for cementing yourself as the cool person that no-one wants to fucachia with.

2.  Make People Feel Uncomfortable

Making people feeling uneasy and uncomfortable around you is a very powerful thing. If you make someone feel like they can’t open up to you, or feel even more self conscious about their appearance because they think you’re going to insult them (deep breath), is the tool of the trade.

That coupled with the no emotions makes you into one cool mofo, because first; this person is worried about you insulting them, then secondly, they’re worried about retaliating because you’ll just call them out on their self esteem issues – pure class!

Also note, looking at your watch while talking to someone or looking around and sighing loudly, are also great tactics at making someone feel uncomfortable.

3. Confidence. In moderation.

This may also take some time getting the measurements just right. Because you want to appear confident, but not a total prick . Make sure you always hold eye contact when talking to someone, however don’t stare (beware of the dreaded ‘rapists  glare’).

Oh yes, don’t forget to always invade peoples personal space – excellent way of making your victim feel uncomfortable.

4. Take Cheapshots, But be Genuinely Funny

Again with the self esteem, but with added humour – because everyone likes a funnyman, right? I’m sure you can figure out what I’m trying to say, I’m not here to do all your work.

Stick to these 4 rules and you’ll soon have people thinking you’re the modern day Fonz. If you don’t know who that is, you should just give up now.

P.S: This is a joke. Don’t take it too seriously. And your opinions are greatly appreciated. ‘Eyyyy!

P.P.S: ..no they aren’t.

-Aidan.

So here’s one e-mail that I’ve come across. It’s about taxes, and I don’t know how this relates to your countries tax system but it’s based mainly on the Australian tax system (I believe :S).

Enjoy!

If you are intelligent enough to understand this you MUST read it.

Tine Subject: The tax system explained in beer!

The tax system explained in beer.

When pondering the question of mining super taxes and the structure of our tax system in general please refer to this explanation using the language of Beer !!

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100.

If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this; The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1 The sixth would pay $3 The seventh would pay $7 The eighth would pay $12 The ninth would pay $18 The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59 So, that’s what they decided to do.

The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve ball.

“Since you are all such good customers,” he said, “I’m going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20″. Drinks for the ten men would now cost just $80.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes.

So the first four men were unaffected.

They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men -
the paying customers?

How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his fair share?

They realised that $20 divided by six is $3.33.
But if they subtracted that from everybody’s share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer.

So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man’s bill by a higher percentage the poorer he was, to follow the principle of the tax system they had been using, and he proceeded to work out the amounts he suggested that each should now pay.

And so the fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% saving).

The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33% saving).

The seventh now paid $5 instead of $7 (28% saving).

The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% saving).

The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% saving).

The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% saving).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But, once outside the bar, the men began to compare their savings.

“I only got a dollar out of the $20 saving,” declared the sixth man.

He pointed to the tenth man, “but he got $10!”

“Yeah, that’s right,” exclaimed the fifth man. “I only saved a dollar too. It’s unfair that he got ten times more benefit than me!”

“That’s true!” shouted the seventh man. “Why should he get $10 back, when I got only $2? The wealthy get all the breaks!”

“Wait a minute,” yelled the first four men in unison, “we didn’t get anything at all. This new tax system exploits the poor!”

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.

The next night the tenth man didn’t show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had their beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn’t have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!

And that, boys and girls, journalists and government ministers, is how our tax system works.

The people who already pay the highest taxes will naturally get the most benefit from a tax reduction..

Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore.

In fact, they might start drinking overseas, where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

David R. Kamerschen, Ph.D.
Professor of Economics.

For those who understand, no explanation is needed.
For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible.

Cheers,

-Aidan.